The 2017 laws - some suggestions for improvements!

With the 2007 Laws now, one hopes, safely bedded down (though I dread the first time I need a ruling on the new Law 27B, Insufficient Bid Not Accepted!), Lawmakers are already considering what will need tinkering with in 2017. The game belongs to us, the players, and I suggest that the next revision should incorporate the following amendments, all of which represent standard local practice.

LAW 6: THE SHUFFLE AND DEAL

The deal must be performed in a light, perfunctory fashion, hand over hand, in order not to mix the suits too thoroughly. This is to ensure deals remain ‘flat’, and are not fixed in favour of the better players.

If a deal is passed out, it must be thrown in and redealt. The young super-scientists three tables down must not be allowed the benefit of their judgement and cardplay technique after a super-light opening!

LAW 8: SEQUENCE OF ROUNDS

A. Movement of Boards and Players

The players are not allowed to be responsible for the movement of boards between rounds, as they are incapable of grasping such complex instructions as ‘move the boards clockwise’. The Director should perform this function himself, or engage a reliable firm of couriers (FedEx, or TNT) for such purpose.

B. End of Round

In general, a round ends when the Director gives the signal for the start of the next round.
But if any table has not completed play, or if East has not reached the punchline of the joke he is telling, or if any player is still staring at the ceiling and wondering whether dummy’s 9 of clubs is high, the round continues for that table regardless of how visibly frustrated the arriving pair are.

LAW 9: PROCEDURE FOLLOWING AN IRREGULARITY

A. After Attention is Drawn to An Irregularity

1. (a) Calling the Director is the equivalent of a criminal accusation, and should only be undertaken in the gravest of circumstances.
(b) When addressed by a Director, players should be briefed to give only their name, masterpoint rank, and number. The Director is like the police: an interfering busybody who should not be invited to poke his nose into affairs that do not concern him.
(c) The four players at the table are assumed to be grown ups, and should be relied upon to sort out their own problems. In case of dispute the player who can shout the loudest is deemed to be in the right.

More suggestions to follow in the coming weeks!